To: All Assassination and Reconnaissance Departments
From: The Sunflower Official

Please find enclosed the current official list of basic offenses against Canon for which fan-written characters in your departments may be charged with disrupting the Continuum. As all agents are to a certain extent autonomous while in the field, amplification of these rudimentary charges is encouraged as long as it does not violate Canon Protection Initiative policy. It is noted that the list is not exhaustive and is subject to further revision. To nominate a frequent or egregious offense for inclusion on the list, simply contact the Department of Records, Accounting, and Tabulation (DRAT). Please do not ask for a raise while doing so.


  1. 1. Character Disruptions
    1. 1.1. Causing personality alterations and character ruptures
    2. 1.2. Causing improbable romantic liasons between canon characters (e.g. Gandalf/Galadriel)
    3. 1.3. Breaking up a canon romance, especially in favour of an original character
    4. 1.4. Causing a character to act like a lovestruck fool, especially over an original character
    5. 1.5. Causing male characters to be mysogynistic or chauvinistic; creating "Designated Mysogynistic Bastards"
    6. 1.6. Causing female characters to be antagonistically feminist
    7. 1.7. Creating gratuitous uncanonical younger siblings or offspring of canon characters
    8. 1.8. Causing a canon member of the Free Peoples of Middle-earth to abuse his or her child(ren) or subordinates
    9. 1.9. Otherwise slandering persons, groups, or races
    10. 1.10. Stealing lines
    11. 1.11. Causing an original character to join the Fellowship of the Ring
    12. 1.12. Altering the number or the composition of the Fellowship of the Ring

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  1. 2. Social Disruptions
    1. 2.1. Changing the physiology of any canon race
      1. 2.1.1. Giving Elves wings or other "fairy"-like powers
      2. 2.1.2. Causing male pregnancy
    2. 2.2. Changing the social conventions and structures of a canonical society
      1. 2.2.1. Creating servants in canonically servant-less households
      2. 2.2.2. Forcing arranged marriages
      3. 2.2.3. Changing the mode of dress, shelter, or transport of any Middle-earth society
      4. 2.2.4. Causing individuals of known heterosexual orientation to be suddenly and unaccountably eager to engage in homosexual relations
    3. 2.3. Creating non-canonical races (e.g. nymphs, faeries, unicorns)
    4. 2.4. Confusing family trees (e.g. Arwen as Galadriel’s daughter)
    5. 2.5. Causing Elvish 'magic' to appear to work like conventional witch-and-warlock magic

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  1. 3. Environment Disruptions
    1. 3.1. Changing geography
    2. 3.2. Altering the location of key canon plot events
    3. 3.3. Altering history or the known backstory of a character
    4. 3.4. Deletion or overriding of key canon scenes in a non-AU fic


  1. 1. Causing time compression or expansion
    1. 1.1. Causing the Fellowship to leave Rivendell at dawn
    2. 1.2. Causing the Fellowship to arrive in Hollin within days of leaving Rivendell
    3. 1.3. Causing thousand-year-old elves to behave like spoilt human teenagers
  2. 2. Using unnecessary tense and person shifts
  3. 3. Causing anachronistic behaviour
    1. 3.1. Causing Middle-earth characters to use modern slang
    2. 3.2. Singing (or causing canon characters to sing) modern songs while in Middle-earth
    3. 3.3. Causing Middle-earth characters to use pop psychology
  4. 4. Bringing future knowledge to Middle-earth
  5. 5. Causing events to happen out of canon plotline order
  6. 6. Changing timelines or characters’ ages without cause
  7. 7. Causing events to eventuate solely for the benefit of the original character without regard to canon plotlines


  1. 1. Use of bad biology
    1. 1.1. Employing impossible medical cures
    2. 1.2. Causing logistically improbable romantic liaisons (e.g. Hobbits and Elves)
    3. 1.3. Creating non-canonical races (e.g. nymphs, faeries, unicorns)
  2. 2. Use of bad physics
  3. 3. Use of bad plot devices
    1. 3.1. Employing dei ex machina
    2. 3.2. Creating "cute animal friends"
    3. 3.3. Gratuitous use of magical jewelry
    4. 3.4. Displaying magical Mary Sue powers


  1. 1. Mangling of the English language
    1. 1.1. Bad grammar and syntax
    2. 1.2. Punctuation errors
    3. 1.3. Spelling errors
      1. 1.3.1. General spelling errors
      2. 1.3.2. Errors in spelling of names, aka "creating more mini-Balrogs than Miss Cam can deal with"
  2. 2. Mangling of Elvish or other canon language
  3. 3. Abuse of the Muses
    1. 3.1. Scrawling pitiful doggerel and calling it poetry
    2. 3.2. Taking canon quotes or poetry and contorting them to make them refer to an original character
    3. 3.3. Quoting song lyrics of any description, particularly those of Britney Spears and her ilk (aka "song fics")
  4. 4. Giving original characters inappropriate names
    1. 4.1. Giving original Middle-earth-born characters modern names
    2. 4.2. Giving original characters mangled or random Elvish names
  5. 5. Causing Middle-earth characters to use modern slang
  6. 6. Causing characters to make incorrect use of archaic speech
  7. 7. Gratuitous tense shifting (e.g. past to present)
  8. 8. Gratuitous point-of-view or person shifting
  9. 9. Employing melodramatics
  10. 10. Causing an original character to have an unbearably beautiful voice


(Note: These charges may not necessarily be officially supported by the Administration if disputed and do not constitute legal cause for assassination on their own; however, they are authorized for use by PPC personnel if sufficient charges have been accumulated under other sections to warrant assassination or incarceration of the subject.)

  1. 1. Annoying PPC agents
  2. 2. Displaying extreme stupidity or causing canon characters to act stupidly
  3. 3. Committing fashion crimes
  4. 4. Employing melodramatics, especially melodramatic death speeches (may need to be given posthumously)
  5. 5. Hitting on PPC agents’ lust objects
  6. 6. Claiming than the fanfic is "not a Mary-Sue" when it has all the recognized characteristics of one
  7. 7. Pretending to dislike or be angry at a lust object when it is PAINFULLY OBVIOUS that the original character only exists to enact the author's own wish-fulfillment fantasies as the lover/partner of her crush.


  1. 1. Some charges may be listed under more than one section of this document.
  2. 2. This document is in no way an exhaustive list of possible entries for a charge list, but instead encompasses the most frequently-used charges which are authorized by PPC Headquarters and will be supported by the Legal Department if dispute arises.
  3. 3. The main and first entry on any charge list for the Department of Mary-Sues is "Being a Mary-Sue." This item is mandatory for inclusion on a DMS charge list, but must be substantiated by other charges in order to be legally recognized.