The character has a name that would cause the quirkiest of pirates to raise his eyebrows.
(Pheonix, for example, is a no-no. Even if it's spelled correctly. Likewise with Jewelannique Sparrow, Ekaterina Knightly, etc.)
(6 points) if the character's name coincides with, or is similar to, that of an existing canon character.
(8 points) The character's physique is described with over-frequency. (Every chapter? Every paragraph?! Just describing hairstyle/color counts.)
The original female character wears pants and a shirt/blouse. This does not apply if she is a pirate.
The character is respectable but has long, freely flowing hair. Only ladies of questionable virtue wore their hair down during the colonial period. Then again, this might be a fitting style, depending on the nature of the OC.
The character's eyes are described in excess.
The character's garb is described as tight-fitting and/or revealing.
The character is painfully beautiful.
The character has a cute animal friend.
The character is a female pirate captain.
The OC is related to a canon character.
The character is a prodigy of some sort.
The character is superior to a canon cast at sailing.
The character carries a sword or knife.
The character sleeps with Jack Sparrow, despite being underage and WAY too young for him.
The character uses "womanly charms" to get her or the canon characters out of a pinch.
The character commands respect or even deference from canonical authority figures.
The OC upstages canonical characters.
The character is a "rebellious princess" type. (e.g., can't bear dresses, blah blah and whines and moans about it. Not wanting aristocratic suitors and suchlike also counts.)
The character is a lover of a canon character.
The character steals lines
(10 points) The author take attacks directed at the pet character personally.
The story is delivered in one long paragraph, or the paragraphs break in a way that isn’t consistent with the story.
The author admits to being on a sugar high while writing the story.
The author converses with Cap’n Jack before moving on to the actual story.
4 points if Jack is out of character
Author’s notes are inserted in the text. I’ve yet to see a story where this didn’t distract the reader, yank the reader out of the mindset of the story, or kill the moment entirely.
The author is historically inaccurate. (Photographs in the 17th century, the use of “cool” in a contemporary sense, Cortez searching for the Fountain of Youth in Southern Americas, and so on.)
3 points if the author totally botches geography
The author changes the social conventions and structures of a canonical society
The author employs dei ex machina.
Will’s son is named Jack, and the author confuses the readers by failing to distinguish between Jack Turner and Jack Sparrow.
Jack does not age, despite several years having passed, and there is no explanation given.
Jack is younger than 30 (except in flashback or prequel). Twenty years old? Go back to first grade arithmetic. That would have made him ten when he was first captain of the Black Pearl.
The author uses nonexistent or faulty nautical terms or sailing maneuvers.
Jack has a really funky accent.
Jack’s speech has no identifying characteristics and he uses perfect grammar.
Jack says “savvy” more than five times in a fanfic story of forty-five pages.
The character first hates a canon character, and later falls in love with him/her.
The story involves gratuitous use of magical jewelry or trinkets.
Improbable romantic liaisons occur between canon characters (e.g. Elizabeth/Anamaria, Jack/Barbossa)
Canon characters react unrealistically to the OC. (If you say, “Marry me, Jack!” you are likely to cause the pirate captain to burst out laughing, and perhaps cause yourself to be the butt of a few off-color jokes. If you say, “Marry me, Will!” you are likely to get uncomfortable stammering from the blacksmith and perhaps a pole shoved through your gut courtesy of Miss Swann.)
The character joins Jack’s crew.
8 points if the character is a self-insertion job.
The character knows the story of POTC.
The character reforms the canon cast. (Such as convincing Barbossa to “see the error of his ways”.)
The character is immediately trusted by canon cast.
10 points if individuals of known heterosexual orientation are suddenly and unaccountably eager to engage in homosexual relations.
Will leaves Elizabeth for another character for no plausible reason.
Any canonical romance is broken up. This includes the undying love between Jack and his ship.
Elizabeth is conveniently forgotten or killed off.
There is another ship named like the Black Pearl: the Black Rose, the Ruby Pearl, etc. (That’s some jewel, by the way. Any relation to a many-faceted scarlet emerald?)
The original character is sexually harassed or raped in order to further the plot or have a canon lust object comfort her. [Capital offense—see next subheading.]
The character is raped by ANY canon character other than Barbossa or one of his crew. [Capital offense—see next subheading.]
A character is killed just for the angst.
Teenagers are sucked into the movie.
The canonical(s) travel to modern times.
The character is engaged when she encounters her lust object.
The character has an abusive husband from whom she runs away.
The character is a prostitute who agonizes over her profession and whose heart ever yearns for her one true love.
The character is the offspring of Jack and a prostitute who gave her child to Jack to take care of. (Really. Why would she recall Jack at all, among the hundreds of men she’s bedded, let alone recognize the child as his, find him, and trust him, a basically unknown pirate, with her newborn baby?)
Gratuitous time shifting occurs
The rape of ANY canonical character by another canonical, especially, if the act is treated flippantly or used to further the plot. [Capital offense—see next subheading.]
Only one of these is needed to justify a PPCing. Sentence for the Sue or Sue-ish spirit is life in the Department of Mary Sue Experiments or death. Some of these have been mentioned before. They merit a second reading.
The character is sexually harassed or raped in order to further the plot or have a canon lust object comfort her
The character is raped by ANY canon character other than Barbossa or one of his crew.
A canon character is raped by another canonical, especially if the act is treated flippantly or used to further the plot.
Child abuse fails to be written seriously or is written as a ploy for sympathy.
Ditto regarding espousal abuse.
Male characters are misogynistic or chauvinistic, creating "Designated Misogynistic Bastards."
Female characters are antagonistically feminist.
Cap’n Jack is EASILY IMPRESSED by a female OC, or anyone else for that matter. Come on. He pays no attention to authority, barely flinches at an undead pirate skeleton clutched around his windpipe, and believes himself to be the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main. What would one (realistically) do to impress him?
Jack’s one true love is not the Pearl, nor the sea, nor freedom, but rather a female OC.
Jack is (not acts) a fool, especially around a female OC.
Jack turns into a complete sap or a goody-two-shoes (i.e. displaying unmitigated helpfulness, compliance, deference, or gentlemanly manner).
Jack is sentimental.
The OFC hits Jack, insults Jack, is sarcastic to Jack, and fails to get her comeuppance. (This is a man who carried a pistol with one shot with him for ten years so he could have proper vengeance!)
Jack’s pirate crew—with the exception of Gibbs—is fond of a female OC in a non-perverted way.
Elizabeth is portrayed as whiny, shallow, mean, or unfaithful.
The author makes Will uncharacteristically feminine in order to slash him with Jack.
Will becomes a full-time pirate, regardless of the fact that he is, essentially, a heroic character who only engaged in piracy to rescue Elizabeth.
Norrington is portrayed as foolish, esp. if he is ignorant concerning nautical or naval matters. (While he sometimes underestimates people because of their position in society, he is NOT stupid.)
Norrington is corrupt or uses unlawful methods to harm Jack and Will. (He’s a paragon of correctness, for goodness’ sake! His by-the-book behavior is what puts him at odds with other characters in the story.)
Norrington is depicted as vengeful and/or brokenhearted.
Worth 4 points each. I debated whether to put these in, because I’ve seen stories done well that have some of these characteristics. I ultimately decided, however, that originality is part of good writing, and even a well-written story falls flat if there’s nothing new in it.
The story is a YouJack fic. (This does not apply to MrsPitt, who is believed to be the first YouJack author.)
Elizabeth is kidnapped.
Barbossa returns from the dead.
The fic is an alternative island beach fic featuring a Jack/Elizabeth romance. (How many of these have been written again?)
The offspring of Will/Elizabeth and Jack/random wench meet.
A canon character is described as having chocolate brown eyes. You may think that your lust object is edible, but the description’s been done before. (8 points, and 10 if it applies to Jack)
The story has a chapter title called, “So it begins.” I’ve seen at least ten of these in the PotC fandom. Théoden’s line at Helm’s Deep was executed flawlessly, but it sounds downright melodramatic in a chapter title.
The female OC slaps Jack.
A female character must sleep in the same bed as Jack for a night.