PPC Manual
Volume 5
How to Pick Out a Mary-Sue
Mary-Sue is the bane of the PPC’s existence. She was our primary aim in the early days – indeed, the Organisation was renamed as the Protectors of the Plot Continuum because of her – and she is still a large part of our, and your, duties today. She has a long and convoluted history, which we will not go into here, for the simple reason that it is completely irrelevant to your task, to whit, killing her.
Understand that Mary-Sue will never go away. The Factory, the Academies, the Suethors, all of them will continue churning out these girls – and their male counterparts – until whatever apocalyptic scenario is appropriate occurs. Also understand that, as long as there are Mary-Sues, there will be Assassins to counter them. This is our divinely-appointed task (at last count, ninety-seven deities have given their approval), and it is one that we will always pursue with all our might. This is what you have joined up for. Do not fail us.
This book, then, will explain in simple terms how to spot a ’Sue, precautions that should be taken when encountering her, and – perhaps most important of all – how to get rid of her, no matter what abilities she claims. There is, of course, far more information available in the PPC Library, where you will be able to find literature dating back to the days when we only knew these creatures from afar, in whatever language you may desire (except Italian; a rogue plothole swallowed the entire shelf some years ago). However, for the new Agent, the words on these pages should be entirely sufficient, provided you read, understand, and remember them.
~The Sunflower Official (Head, Department of Mary-Sues)
| Chapters | |
|---|---|
| 1. | So, What the Heck is a Mary-Sue, Anyway? |
| 2. | “Arms and Legs and Everything” |
| 3. | “OMG teh ANGST!!1” |
| 4. | “Phenomenal Cosmic Power!” |
| 5. | It’s On Your Console for a Reason |
| 6. | “Why Won’t She Die?” |
1. So, What the Heck is a Mary-Sue, Anyway?
Defining characteristics
Simply put, a Mary-Sue is an extremely idealized and glorified original character, often (but not always) an avatar or “self-insert” of the fanfic author. Males of this type are sometimes called Gary-Stu, Marty-Stu, or Marty-Sam. Regardless of gender, Mary-Sues have at least some of the following characteristics:
- Exceptional physical beauty.
- A phenomenal singing voice and/or a fondness for singing, especially inappropriate songs at inappropriate times.
- An overly-dramatic, often tragic, backstory.
- Supposedly unique abilities that may or not be useful, e.g. prophecy or telepathy.
- A marked tendency to upstage canonical characters, e.g. saving the entire Fellowship from certain doom.
- A pronounced and deleterious effect on any and all canonical characters, including, but not limited to:
- compelling the writer’s favorite character to fall in love with him/her,
- compelling apparent spontaneous reformation and/or repentance in any evil or selfish characters,
- commanding respect or even deference from canonical authority figures.
These characteristics can come in as many different combinations as there are ’Sues, which is to say quite a lot. Some will stand out as boldly as the typos on the page, others will be more subtle. In the end, it is how they come together to warp the canon that counts.