1) I don't own any of the characters from The Lord of the Rings. I just get to put them back where they belong when other people play messy with them.
2) I don't own the PPC either, although I'm eternally grateful to Jay and Acacia for letting others play in this world of their creating.
I'd been recruited by the PPC after I sent Acacia and Jay a fan email, saying how much I appreciated their work. Apparently, it's got to the point now where being a LOTR fan who dislikes Mary-Suism, blatant self-insertion, and other such idiocies is grounds for a job offer. I'm not an assassin, though. Not, I have to point out, because I lack the temperament for the job. I've worked on a helpdesk for about a year now, I can do sadistic psychotic derangement right up there with the best of them. Rather, it's because I don't have the necessary physical coordination, or as Acacia puts it, because the way I use a bow, I'd be hard put to hit the broad side of a barn. From the inside. Instead, I work in a different area: Transdimensional Snatching Department. My job is to return any canon characters who are brought to this world back to their original location. I'm a Despatcher.
Not that this means I have any more leisure time than the rest of the crew on Lord of the Rings duty. The number of transdimensional snatches has increased to the point where it's a full time job keeping up with the continuity. Many more, and the whole continuum is going to collapse in on itself because the main characters aren't present to do what they need to do. Evil triumphant on Middle-earth because some hormone-addled teenager couldn't resist the opportunity to flirt with her favourite character(s).
I Don't Think So...