Ally’s euphoria at finally being finished with “Quidditch Is Not For Everyone” lasted little over three hours until she was dragged off to “Magical Heredity” for one last lecture prior to their finals the following week. A group of fanwriters was taking the Quidditch test, and was therefore absent.

“Welcome, students,” said Remus Lupin, trying to smile and ending up looking like he was about to tell you bad news that amused him, like “I’m sorry, but your cat has died. It fell into the blender after trying to make a milkshake out of your goldfish.”

Ally grabbed her bag and dropped into her seat, near the edge of the crowd. Newmoon and GwendolynMorgan were sitting next to her, both having just come from their own Quidditch match and sporting matching pairs of black eyes. In the second game, the Punctuation Downpour appeared to have heated up in intensity, probably caused by a rogue run-on sentence.

“In our last lecture before the final,” Remus began, but was cut off by a low moan of disappointment from his fan following. “We will discuss some relationships that you might consider having with the Canon Characters. I am referring, no Miss Vethil, not to romance, but to kinships. Such as Harry’s long-lost sister—” he frowned, but went on “—Draco’s twin, Sirius Black’s love child—” Remus started to snicker under his breath “—or Professor Dumbledore’s granddaughter.”

Hagrid walked up to the platform, holding his pink umbrella in one huge hand. “Now, we’re goin’ ter go over all of the kinships you’ve thought up, an’ see if any of them are right.” Hagrid pulled a large list from his pocket. “’Arry Potter, only child. I don’t care how much yew think ’e’s got a twin, it better be ironclad reasonin’ if yew don’t want trouble,” said Hagrid.

A few of the Lusterbuffs shivered uncontrollably, probably having done such a thing in their fanfiction-writing times pre-HFA.

“An’ Draco Malfoy, he seems ter be a fav’rite of yours, too. Well, as far as we know he don’t got any brothers or sisters. But yew watch yourself, because in the coming week we might ’ave proof ter stick ter you,” said Hagrid warningly.

“Now, Sirius Black, what can I say about him? Yew all seem ter think ’e was some kind of nympho back in the days...” started Hagrid, but Ally had tuned him out.

The sky was finally clearing, even after the rain had stopped. Ally had something on her mind, and whenever the thought came up she felt a flicker of warmth, just as she had before on the Quidditch pitch. And then the thought would leave her, and she would be left with a gentle feeling that smothered her like a mask of feathers. Ally could never remember what she had been thinking about, but just then the idea returned, finally allowing itself to be displayed for her total scrutiny.

Ally was going to miss HFA. She had grown so used to it, so familiar with the place. Now the time was approaching that would mean an end to her life here. She would be back in the Muggle world, knowing that Harry Potter was just a book, and that she was just a young teenager who had had a crush on the main character.

But at HFA it was more than a book. The magic was real, and the characters were alive. Well, they were also a bit grumpy and angry most of the time, but they were real enough. Ally fiddled with a blade of grass next to her ankle. Did she want to leave? Or did she want to stay?

Here was the problem, the choice that it had come down to. And even though the choice would never be presented to her, in her mind she still wanted to be set in the matter. Ally did miss her family, even her nagging mother and stupid older sister. She missed her friends at school, and laughing about the silly, immature things that were hers by right as a teenager.

Yet she would miss HFA as well. There was no balance between the two, one or the other. In the Muggle world she would be a child again, no matter how much she protested. At HFA she felt mature, or at least wizened by the endless chases, lectures, and misadventures.

There was no balance between the two.

*********

It took only a second for the gash to appear; only a second for it to slit Reality from ground to the heavens. And it took less than a second for Meir Brin to slip into panic-mode.

“Get something, something big, right now! I need all characters who can Stun a Sue or Slash Spirit out here with wands and cricket bats!” cried Meir Brin, dashing from the Entrance Hall to the grassy field where the Canon-rupture had appeared. Behind her followed most of the Death Eaters and the three Voldemorts, pushing along their Selaria siege engine.

They were spilling out of the rip now, masses of black little things with eyes and... urgh... they looked like Care Bears or something equally disgusting. The ground shook, and the Dark Lord and his minions (plus Meir Brin) were forced to steady themselves.

They were coming onto the grounds now, the creatures that had threatened to overwhelm the fandom during last week’s Canonquake. But now they were actually inside of HFA, running amok.

Screaming bloody murder (“BLOODY MURDEEEERRRR!”), the Death Eaters fell on the creatures like they were copies of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in the first two seconds past midnight in a popular bookstore franchise. Meir Brin lingered for a minute, before throwing herself into the fray.

All sorts of fanfiction horrors were there. Some were Mary Sues from other fandoms, others carried the ethereal snarkiness that marked them as Slash Spirits. A few odd fanfiction Canon Characters had shown up, among them a couple Smurfs and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But this was the first time that Meir Brin had ever encountered a Vicious Avatar.

Unlike the conventional meaning of “avatar” (defined in Webster’s as “an incarnation of another person“), a fanfiction Avatar is much worse.

At over seven feet tall, they were more majestic than a conventional Mary Sue. In other fandoms they were tolerated and sometimes exterminated, having an effect of sapping a whole continuum of its strength if not put to good use. Like Slash Spirits some were good and some were bad. The one that appeared now was most definitely evil; otherwise it would not be attacking HFA. Vambiolatos broke the rules, Avatars played by them.

And through that skill they had become perilous, overpowering all who opposed them, Sues and Canon Characters alike. Meir Brin gleaned a bit of hope in that she was neither (hopefully the Vambiolaria had worn off by now), but still had to swallow a lot of fear as it came through the rip in Reality.

The Avatar smiled calmly, and reached for its wand. Meir Brin, deciding that it was time to fight dirty, rammed the point of her granite umbrella into the creature’s crotch. It doubled up briefly, and then muttered an incantation that sent the HFA coordinator reeling. The Avatar started on another spell, and Meir Brin forced her feet to move sideways, avoiding the attack.

“I am really going to file a grant for magical powers next year,” said Meir Brin through clenched teeth, whacking the Avatar with her umbrella. “I have to be due something,” said she.

“Sproing!” shouted someone behind her, and there was a bout of high-pitched cackling. “Gotcha!”

Before Meir Brin knew what was going on, the Avatar had a wad of Tantaflaf in its face, and was suffocating. Spinning around, she grinned at Lord Voldemort, who was doing his victory dance as Tom Riddle loaded up the trebuchet with another gob of Tantaflaf.

“Nice shot, Lord Voldemorts Collectively!” she called.

Now there were more Canon Characters pouring onto the lawns, among them the most renowned wizards of Harry Potter fame: Albus Dumbledore, Mad-Eye Moody, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall... Even the Creevey brothers had showed up, and were blinding Vambiolatos with their camera flash before knocking them out with minor jinxes.

Meir Brin looked back at the Avatar. It seemed to have reached the end of its proverbial rope, and started to get hazy around the edges. As its struggles ceased, it vanished completely.

“We need to do something about those rips,” she said aloud, whacking a passing Vambiolato with her umbrella before it could glomp Tom Riddle. “No glomping,” she mumbled gruffly.

“Dobby will take care of that!” said the high-pitched squeaky voice belonging to the house-elf himself. There was Dobby, running out from the castle, Mrs. Weasley not too far behind. They were both carrying skeins of yarn, and monstrous knitting needles that could have been used as arrows had one put fletching on them.

The two knitters reached the slit in Reality and started to work. Dobby would stick his knitting needle with yarn attached to the end into what looked like thin air, and then pull it through like a giant sewing needle. Then he pulled it through the other side, and, amazingly enough defying all known laws of physics, sewing up the rip.

Something hit her square on the face, and Meir Brin stopped watching to stomp viciously on a Smurf that was trying to hit her with berries. As she pounded the little creature flat, Meir Brin was heard muttering, “I guess we must never underestimate anything, even the power of everyday objects...”

---

Author’s Notes: Well, I’m sorry to leave you there, but I will not be updating for the next week or so (vacation time). The story will continue after the release of Book 5, though there will be some time lag as I cover events that should have happened prior to Book 5’s release. Overall I think there will be nearly fifty chapters in this story, which means that I still have eleven to go.

Enjoy the release of Book 5,
Meir Brin