Welcome to the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy, official fanfiction university of the Potterverse.

*door opens*

Mind you step over the injured students and unconscious Vambiolatos as you enter.

*tip-toe across the silent Entrance Hall*

And please, do try not to disturb the Mini-Aragogs.

*large, furry spiders snore and turn over in their sleep*

They won’t appreciate it, especially after Winky just finished waxing the floor.

*slide into a suit of armor, and rouse the entire castle*

... Well, I did try to warn you.

~º~•~º~

HFA...

Here the grass is green, the lust-objects plentiful... and the education... unusual.

---

Disclaimer: I [Meir Brin] do not own Harry Potter; it belongs to Ms. J.K. Rowling and her publishers and affiliates. I am making no money off of this website, so kindly refrain from suing me. OFUM belongs to Miss Camilla Sandman, and this is an authorized spin-off. The HFA crest is derived from the existing Hogwarts crest, but I do claim the images above as my own.

Although both The Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy and its sequel In the Keeping of HFA are both still accessible via Fanfiction.net, the latter in particular has suffered from terrible formatting decay and is practically unreadable. With the help of the Wayback Machine, I’ve been able to restore most of the original text of the latter. (Though sadly not quite all; a couple lines are still missing from chapter 14, “The Fanwriters’ New Clothes.”) Therefore, since I decided to rehost the sequel, I thought I might as well rehost the entire contents of Meir Brin’s original HFA website.

As usual in this archive, I have made conservative edits to correct indisputable misspellings and other errors. I have also attempted to standardize orthographic features across both stories, including the capitalization of special words, the use of hyphens vs dashes, and the placement of end punctuation in relation to quotation marks. Additionally, I’ve replaced asterisks denoting emphasis or internal thoughts with italic text formatting. If you spot any errors I’ve missed (or any I’ve introduced), please let me know!

**Complete!** Welcome to HFA, a school for fanfiction writers of the Harry Potter designation. Yet who would have the courage to teach such a motley bunch? Why, the Harry Potter characters themselves, of course! (A Miss Cam–authorized OFU.)

01. A Different Kind of Owl Post 02. Misspellings and Chopsticks 03. An Incident with Those Who Must Not Be Named 04. Two Rules and Why Glomping is Not a Good Idea 05. The Sorting Ceremony and Why Punctuation is Important 06. Three Random Incidents During Between Times 07. The Fellowship of the Peeves and the Aftermath 08. The Mini-Aragog Paintball Association 09. The Brit Test and a Break-in at Aerobics Lair 10. The Lusters United Meet Their Match 11. Trouble in Spellcheck, or The Curse of Vambiolaria 12. An Unlikely Sue in the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy 13. The Return of Lusters United and Those Who Must Not Be Named 14. Hair Curlers and the Great Lusters United Adventure 15. Bane of Filch: Pranking 101 16. Draco, Hermione, and a Grand Announcement 17. Practical Wizardry and a Meeting in Aerobics Lair 18. A Long-Awaited Crossover 19. Go Fish at the Whinging Scab 20. In Which We Discover that Quidditch Is Not For Everyone 21. In Which We Discover that HFA Isn’t So Bad After All 22. Fundamentals of Fluff and Other Stuff 23. Dreams, Schemes, and Cultivating Kuswort 24. Field Study and Why Not to Tick Off Riot Control 25. Ally’s Epiphany: The Plot Cometh

26. A Marriage of Epic and Creepy Proportions 27. Magical Heredity and You: Reasons Why You Cannot Be 1/2 Unicorn 28. The Trouble With Plotholes 29. Putrescence in Puns and Slapstick with Siege Engines 30. Acts of Violence, Pain, and Slash 31. The Dueling Seminar and Un-Wanded Innuendo 32. Missing Minis, Punishing Plays, and Frightful Foreshadowing 33. A Few Professors and a Staring Contest 34. The HFA Slash Manifesto 35. A Most Unusual Uncanon Visitor 36. To Duel the Peeves 37. Intentional Disease and an Angry Malfoy 38. Even More Quidditch and a Punctuation Downpour 39. Never Underestimate the Power of Knitting Needles 40. A Drink and a Warning 41. The Retreat to Safety and a Massing Before the Storm 42. Pulling Canon Through a Meat-grinder 43. Armageddon 44. To Duel Fanfiction 45. The Good Fight 46. The Sadness of HFA, and the Luckiness of Its Students 47. The MAPLE Final and an Unforeseen Victory 48. Saying Farewell to HFA 49. Splicing Memories and Unexpected Visitors 50. Epilogue: Concerning the Denizens of HFA

Something more is happening at the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy this year. Something other than mass fanwriter education Through Pain. Something more... sinister? Maybe, but “chaotic” and “insane” work, too.

01. A Shrub’s Delivery Is Full of Irony 02. The Fanwriter’s Letters 03. By Train, By Ship, By Giant Squid 04. Back in the Swing of Things at HFA 05. Plotting for Bunnies 06. How Not to Get Wapped With MWPP 07. Antagonist Interlude 08. Link of the Web of the Spider 09. The Order Investigates 10. Alternate Universes and You 11. The Rebirth of Paintball

12. The Fluff Ball and Its Invasion 13. Pretzels, Sympathy, and Punctuation 14. The Fanwriters’ New Clothes 15. Flashback, Flashforward 16. Duplication Complications 17. The Hunting of the Snape 18. The Reward That Wasn’t 19. The Last Canon Shift 20. The Science of Awkwardness 21. A Liberal Arts Major in Snape’s Clothing

Teaser for HFA II

Enrollment Form

Meir Brin’s Masses of Mini-Aragog Minions

Mini-Aragogs... the watchful sentinels that guard HFA against intruders, Vambiolatos, and overly enthusiastic students. At three feet tall with a leg-span of five feet, they enjoy bouillabaisse, rats, and yo-yos. Student yo-yos.

Note: This link leads to the Mini-Aragog article on PPC Wiki, via which you will find the most up-to-date list of Mini-Aragogs.