1.You Are Not a Mary-Sue, You Cannot Aim
2.Shape-Shifting in Style
3.“My Bowstring Just Snapped”
4.Borrowed Weapons
5.No Need for a Graveyard
6.All Those Other Gizmos

1. You Are Not a Mary-Sue, You Cannot Aim

Weapons training and why it is necessary

While raw enthusiasm is useful on a mission, it is less likely to cause failure, injury to partner, injury to self, and general chaos if you can actually use the weapon provided. Since you cannot automatically get the hang of whatever you pick up within five minutes, you are limited to whatever you’re familiar with (nothing, probably). Having a weapon you cannot handle may also cause damage to Headquarters, which is why we’d prefer you to learn.

In theory, new Agents receive a haphazard course in weapons training when they sign up. Official training by a senior Agent, should you be lucky enough to get it, lasts about three days and teaches you how not to kill yourself. Most people end up knowing which end you’re not supposed to hold. You may learn to aim well enough to hit the target, although chances are that by this time you’ve already been assigned a partner and are now on a mission. This, in fact, is when you learn to hit the target.

Most practical weapons training takes place after you’re halfway competent and is provided by your new partner. If it consists of instructions screamed in your ear while you perch on the edge of a cliff, don’t complain. You ought to learn faster with your partner screaming in your ear. Your partner is also more likely to hurt you if you miss. Incentive, see?

2. Shape-Shifting in Style

Disguises and why we use them

If you take a look at your Response Centre’s console, you will notice two things. First, it is very big. Second, and more relevantly, a significant portion of the space is given over to the Disguise Generator. It is very important that you learn how this works. For details, refer to the PPC Technology Use Manual, Volume 16, Sections 4 through 27.

The reason for the Disguise Generator is simple. It is against PPC policy to interfere with the Canon worlds more than necessary – to do so would only cause more work for us. Thus, Agents disguise themselves as races from the Canon – as elves, Orcs, generic human wizards, and so forth. If possible, it is recommended that the disguise chosen is of something that would reasonably perform the actions the Agent is undertaking – for example, killing a member of the Fellowship of the Ring – but it is appreciated that this is not always viable, and violations of this rule are usually overlooked.

The disguise generator is far more versatile than other forms of disguise – false beards or plastic ears – as it actually alters the fundamental shape of the Agent in question. If a pair of Agents enter the Word Worlds as Ents, they will find themselves impervious to arrows. Agents taking dragon disguises can fly. This is something which no amount of makeup can match. However, there have been serious abuses, and thus punishments have been set out. Please see Volume 9 for details.

3. “My Bowstring Just Snapped”

Creative assassinations

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4. Borrowed Weapons

The use and misuse of ’Sueish weapons

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5. No Need for a Graveyard

On the disposal of bodies

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6. All Those Other Gizmos

Other PPC technology

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