FOREWORD:

For those (admittedly few) poor ignorant souls who don't understand what the PPC is, that is what will be explained now.

PPC is an acronym for the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, an organization of hardworking people who are determined to bring justice to all badfics. It is the brainchild of Jay and Acacia, both of whom have been unjustly exiled from fanfiction.net, though they still write under the penname Wunderlust. There are several continua (LOTR, Harry Potter, DBZ, etc.), and numerous departments. My partner, BriRi, and myself work in the HP continuum for the Department of Mary Sues. What exactly does this mean?

The process works like this: Intelligence Scouts find a badfic and determine which department should take care of it. Then it is assigned to a pair of agents in that department. In the case of our department, we make note of all the dispatches of canon, then charge and kill the Sue.

For those who believe this to be too extreme, please leave. Now. For those of you who recognize the horror of the badfic, I salute you, one Purist to the other. And feel free to read on.

As a conclusion, for friends and foe alike: You've all seen badfics, whether you like them or not. This is our only way that we can bring them exactly what they deserve.

—Melissa

PS: Almost forgot the disclaimer! Harry Potter and all of his minions belong to the acclaimed J.K. Rowling; the PPC and all relating to it belong to the esteemed Jay and Acacia; the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy, whenever mentioned, belongs to the wonderful Meir Brin. The color urple belongs to Miss Cam, along with the concept of mini-Balrogs. CynicalGiantCow belongs to my partner BriRi, also known on fanfiction.net as Leo Dragoness. (All of the above know of this fic, and have granted their permission to use their ideas, given credit. Except for J.K. Rowling's, but if she wants to sue us, she'll have to talk to the Director of Personnel about getting us a raise.) All that I personally own is my wand. Which, really, is all that I need.

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{Melissa's A/N: I'm very melodramatic, aren't I?}

{BriRi's A/N: What a beautiful intro, Melissa! It moved me.}