MEMORANDUM

To: All Assassination and Reconnaissance Departments
From: The Sunflower Official

Please find enclosed the current official list of basic offenses against Canon for which fan-written characters in your departments may be charged with disrupting the Continuum. As all agents are to a certain extent autonomous while in the field, amplification of these rudimentary charges is encouraged as long as it does not violate Canon Protection Initiative policy. It is noted that the list is not exhaustive and is subject to further revision. To nominate a frequent or egregious offense for inclusion on the list, simply contact the Department of Records, Accounting, and Tabulation (DRAT). Please do not ask for a raise while doing so.

A. CANON VIOLATIONS

  1. 1. Character Disruptions
    1. 1.1. Causing personality alterations and character ruptures
    2. 1.2. Causing improbable romantic liasons between canon characters (e.g. Jango/Padmé)
    3. 1.3. Breaking up a canon romance, especially in favour of an original character
    4. 1.4. Causing a character to act like a lovestruck fool, especially over an original character
    5. 1.5. Causing male characters to be mysogynistic or chauvinistic; creating "Designated Mysogynistic Bastards"
    6. 1.6. Causing female characters to be antagonistically feminist
    7. 1.7. Creating gratuitous uncanonical younger siblings or offspring of canon characters
    8. 1.8. Causing a respectable canon to abuse his, her, or its child/ren, spouse, or subordinates
    9. 1.9. Otherwise slandering persons, groups, or races
    10. 1.10. Stealing lines
    11. 1.11. Causing an original character to uncanonically join a canonical affiliation (e.g. making it the "Dozen and Three Avengers" instead of "Dozen and Two")
    12. 1.12. Altering the composition of the Old or New Republic, the Empire, Hutt hierarchy, Sith or Jedi hierarchy, or the Rebellion (or anything else, for that matter)

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  1. 2. Social Disruptions
    1. 2.1. Changing the physiology of any canon race
      1. 2.1.1. Causing male pregnancy
    2. 2.2. Changing the social structure of any canon society/race/culture
      1. 2.2.1. Creating servants in canonically servant-less settings
      2. 2.2.2. Forcing arranged marriages
        1. 2.2.2.1. Marrying anyone to a Jedi uncanonically
      3. 2.2.4. Changing the mode of dress, food, shelter, or transport of any canon culture
      4. 2.2.5. Causing individuals of known heterosexuality to be suddenly eager (or forced) to be engaged in homosexual relationships
    3. 2.3. Creating an uncanonical species
    4. 2.4. Tangling family trees (e.g. Anakin Solo older than Jaina and Jacen)
    5. 2.5. Creating any sort of magic or powers that are not the Force
      1. 2.5.1. Creating a Force ability

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  1. 3. Environment Disruptions
    1. 3.1. Changing geography
    2. 3.2. Altering the setting of key canon plot events
    3. 3.3. Altering history or the known backstory of a character
    4. 3.4. Deletion or overriding of key canon scenes in a non-AU fic

B. SPACE-TIME DISTORTIONS

  1. 1. Causing time compression or expansion
    1. 1.1. Making the wrong amount of time in between episodes, books, or other events
    2. 1.2. Staying in hyperspace much too long or short to reach destination
    3. 1.3. Causing respectable and mature characters to act like spoilt teenagers
  2. 2. Using unnecessary tense or person shifts (aka Gratuitous PoV And Tense Switching)
  3. 3. Causing anachronistic behaviour
    1. 3.1. Singing (or causing canons to sing) modern songs whilst in canon
  4. 4. Causing events to happen out of canon plotline order
  5. 5. Changing timelines or characters' ages without cause
  6. 6. Causing events to eventuate solely for the benefit of the original character without regard to canon plotlines

C. TECHNICAL IMPROBABILITIES

  1. 1. Use of bad biology
    1. 1.1. Employing impossible and/or improbable medical cures
    2. 1.2. Causing logistically improbable romantic liaisons (e.g. Wookiees and Twi'leks)
    3. 1.3. Creating uncanonical species
  2. 2. Use of bad physics
  3. 3. Use of bad plot devices
    1. 3.1. Employing dei ex machina
    2. 3.2. Creating "cute animal friends"
    3. 3.3. Gratuitous use of magical/Force-powered/elemental/etc jewelry
    4. 3.4. Displaying magical Mary Sue powers

D. LANGUAGE ABUSE

  1. 1. Mangling of the English language
    1. 1.1. Bad grammar and syntax
    2. 1.2. Punctuation errors
    3. 1.3. Spelling errors
      1. 1.3.1. General spelling errors
      2. 1.3.2. Errors in the spelling of names, aka "making more mini-Rancors/Wampas/Oswafts/Banthas/Whatevers than Alistair Fyrethorne can deal with"
  2. 2. Mangling of the Huttese or other canon language
  3. 3. Abuse of the Muses
    1. 3.1. Scrawling pitiful doggerel and calling it poetry
    2. 3.2. Taking canon quotes or poetry and contorting them to make them refer to an original character
    3. 3.3. Quoting song lyrics of any description, particularly those of Britney Spears and her ilk (aka "song fics")
  4. 4. Giving original characters inappropriate names
    1. 4.1. Giving Star-Wars-universe characters 21st century Earth names
    2. 4.2. Giving original charactersmangled or random names from any canonical language
  5. 5. Incorrect use of archaic speech in general
  6. 6. Gratuitous tense shifting (e.g. past to present)
  7. 7. Gratuitous point-of-view or person shifting
  8. 8. Employing melodramatics
  9. 9. Causing an original character to have an unbearably beautiful voice

E. SUBJECTIVE CHARGES

(Note: These charges may not necessarily be officially supported by the Administration if disputed and do not constitute legal cause for assassination on their own; however, they are authorized for use by PPC personnel if sufficient charges have been accumulated under other sections to warrant assassination or incarceration of the subject.)

  1. 1. Annoying PPC agents
  2. 2. Displaying extreme stupidity or causing canon characters to act stupidly
  3. 3. Committing fashion crimes
  4. 4. Employing melodramatics, especially melodramatic death speeches (may need to be given posthumously)
  5. 5. Hitting on PPC agents’ lust objects
  6. 6. Claiming than the fanfic is "not a Mary-Sue" when it has all the recognized characteristics of one
  7. 7. Pretending to dislike or be angry at a lust object when it is PAINFULLY OBVIOUS that the original character only exists to enact the author's own wish-fulfillment fantasies as the lover/partner of her crush.

NOTES:

  1. 1. Some charges may be listed under more than one section of this document.
  2. 2. This document is in no way an exhaustive list of possible entries for a charge list, but instead encompasses the most frequently-used charges which are authorized by PPC Headquarters and will be supported by the Legal Department if dispute arises.
  3. 3. The main and first entry on any charge list for the Department of Mary-Sues is "Being a Mary-Sue." This item is mandatory for inclusion on a DMS charge list, but must be substantiated by other charges in order to be legally recognized.